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Parents often forget that
children are active listeners and imitators. If parents use
profanity (and most do, either regularly or during moments of
anger), so will their children. And children are surprisingly good
mimics. They swear with their parents’ tone and intensity, and they
use curse words in the appropriate contexts. Young children pick up
profanity, which they also hear from playmates and on TV, just as
they pick up other phrases.
When people respond with surprise to a child who’s used a curse
word, or when they say, “That’s bad,” the child learns that
profanity has power. He may continue to use swear words to test out
their shock value and to try to understand what makes certain words
bad.
Parents are usually alarmed by their child’s swearing. They fear
embarrassment and worry that he will be blamed for teaching
profanity to other children. Parents also fear that his cursing will
reflect on the entire family, and that people may assume such
language is used and condoned in his home. Because of these fears,
many parents become angry and react strongly when their child uses
profanity. But they should be careful not to blame him for his
natural tendency to imitate what he hears.
If your child uses swear words only occasionally, there’s no need to
be concerned. But if he uses such words often, there are several
things you can do. The most important is to stop using profanity
yourself. If he no longer hears the words from you (or from the TV
shows you let him watch), he’ll probably stop cursing. You can also
explain that you don’t want him using profanity, and you can set
firm limits on his language. As long as you don’t overreact, he’ll
probably give up profanity once the novelty wears off, although
during the elementary years he may experiment with it again. |
